Preparing for divorce

The moment its clear that you are heading for divorce, the emotional toll is felt by the parents and the kids. My experience was to try make the lives of my kids as stable as possible even though every aspect of life was being turned upside down.

The kitchen is often called the heart of the home, and by focusing on making this space a happy one, its helps to distract from all the chaos in the home. Divorce takes time, mine took over 3 years to completely finalise and in that time, I chose to transform from a dad that hardly cooked, to one that turned each meal into an exciting taste adventure.

The most essential item is to ensure you have time with your kids. Mealtimes are precious and don’t make the mistake of thinking a few days a week is enough time, my experience is 50% of the time is the absolute minimum. If you love your kids, you need to be a part of all the experiences growing up.

Just like your toolbox or whatever hobby you enjoy, you want to ensure you have the right tools for the job. You are going to need measuring spoons and cups, baking trays, oven proof dishes big and small, pots and pans, big and small. Knives to chop and slice. Large spoons to mix. Bowls to mix. Machines to mix, blend, fold, whip and chop.

You are going to need dishes to cook for one and dishes to cook for you and your kids so don’t assume you don’t need anything from the kitchen, you will.

Remember, cooking is like riding a bike, you got to learn some basics and get better over time. Be sure to select your preferences in the food ideas for the future cookbook.

While you are caught up in the hectic time of sorting out the details of your divorce, you and your kids still need to eat. While your focus is probably going to be on all the drama that comes with the process of achieving a divorce, try your best to make mealtimes with your kids as happy as possible.

If cooking was not part of your primary role, you don’t need to become an expert in a day. Rather focus on small steps to build up your confidence, as besides the skill of cooking, you also need to understand the reasons begin the methods in different dishes to be able to personalise the recipes to you and your kids’ preferences.

I found the easiest way to bring variety is to start with sauces and marinades. These can be applied to most dishes and transform the dish from plain to delicious. You can find a great variety of sauces and marinades by Googling the ingredients you like to use with the word sauce or marinade. This will bring up a list of recipes and you can select one that contains the ingredients you enjoy.

Be sure to select your choices of food that you enjoy to feature in the future cookbook.

Be patient with your cooking skills during divorce

From the moment you sense your marriage is heading down the wrong path till the time your divorce is finalised can be a long time depending how quickly both parties come to a resolution.

Cooking is a great way to learn how patience can help to give a better result and your efforts and focus will pay off. The process of divorce can be all consuming, so try take the time to improve your cooking skills as the lessons from cooking can help you improve your life skills.

There are many techniques or methods that are required in recipes. As you get more experienced, you will be less intimidated by the different skills and have a better understanding of why the skills or methods are important.

Folding, whisking, separating eggs, sweating the vegetables are all terms that you will come across. Recipes are also divided into parts as the final dish is made up of steps rather than just one pot solutions.

Through my experience, I have tried to simplify the recipes I create and know when a method or skill is necessary for the recipe to be a success.

Make sure you select your choices of food that you enjoy to feature in the future cookbook.

You will be surprised how a little creative effort can yield a great result. As I am sure you experience too, kids always want more exciting school lunches and their lunch is more than just food, its becomes a bargaining tool for exchange. It’s not great to know that your kids view their lunches as the most boring amongst their friends. Don’t give in to just giving junk food to impress them as that it not going to solve it long term.

My kids like sushi and I have tried to make it for them. My efforts were appreciated but it was allot of work and not very practical mostly because of my skill level. So, I came up with an alternative which I called, carrot and salmon pops.

I used carrots that were thinly peeled and wrapped it around a mix of sushi rice, salmon and sauce and sealed with a toothpick. It was a huge hit and achieved maximum swop value in the lunch exchange index!

Divorce can bring a whole lot of more emotions to the dynamics at home, so try to refocus on the real issue of connecting more with your kids and turning their feedback into creating new things that everyone enjoys.

Make sure you select your choices of food that you enjoy to feature in the future cookbook.